somethingrevolutionary: (31 - JZHNQQo)
Mel Medarda ([personal profile] somethingrevolutionary) wrote2023-03-07 02:23 pm
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[personal profile] spktr 2023-12-30 03:23 pm (UTC)(link)
Or maybe it's because of her understanding that she did those things, to test limits but also see what we'd do in strange situations. Like little lab rats she can observe.
spktr: (steven; 072.)

[personal profile] spktr 2023-12-31 09:56 pm (UTC)(link)
More dangerous? In what way?
spktr: (steven; 063.)

[personal profile] spktr 2024-01-02 03:36 am (UTC)(link)
Ah, I understand.

It would be helpful if we could get little hints about what we're meant to be learning or improving upon though. I feel like I was doing much better back home, to be completely honest. Then again, I wonder what the version of me still back home would think of me here. A different perspective, perhaps.
spktr: (steven; 123.)

[personal profile] spktr 2024-01-03 12:24 am (UTC)(link)
I think that's a wonderful goal. You work hard for it, and you're trying to help people, which is admirable.

[He feels "caught" by that question and takes a bit to respond, wishing so badly he could confide in Mel... but it's a complicated topic, and he doesn't feel right without asking Marc first.]

I don't know if I'm doing worse - perhaps I should put it differently. Things back home were just... improving for the better, finally, and coming here feels like a distracting fork in the road that wasn't meant to happen.

I've made wonderful friends here and have a lot of love for the people I've met, and I'm grateful Marc and Layla are here with me, but this isn't where we belong.
Edited 2024-01-03 00:25 (UTC)
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[personal profile] spktr 2024-01-03 01:29 am (UTC)(link)
Yes.

[He can't even hesitate in that answer because it's true.]

Though I would miss my friends, like you and Hawke. I wish we could still communicate and see one another from our homes.
spktr: (steven; 004.)

[personal profile] spktr 2024-01-03 04:26 am (UTC)(link)
Having the choice is crucial, I think. People who want to stay should be able to stay, and vice versa.
spktr: (steven; 117.)

[personal profile] spktr 2024-01-03 05:04 am (UTC)(link)
Then you should be given that choice. Taking that one thing away from us is mostly why I don't like Thirteen.

I'm sorry, I hadn't meant for this conversation to go down this path!
spktr: (steven; 056.)

[personal profile] spktr 2024-01-04 05:11 am (UTC)(link)
I admittedly feel spoiled having the people I care about most from home here. I fear waking up one day and learning I've been left behind, but then I remind myself there's others here who care about me too, friends and neighbours who would be there for me. We're here for you too.
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[personal profile] spktr 2024-01-04 06:30 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think it's foolish, love. There has to be a reason we're all here and I think it's normal to try to rationalise it when we're stuck as we are. We're in it together after all.

I am glad to have met you, Mel. I don't have many friends at all back home either but this place has changed that, and I'm grateful for that much too.